Paper flowers and lullabies. Candy wrappers and little dyes that I use to make the rainbow in sugar as I love it, in ways I could never have made it before. These things feel like a wonderland, but something that is all too strange at the same time.

I have dreamt dreamless sleep. I wish I could keep these hopes in a bottle, string it up around me like fairy lights, glowing in the dark around me as I read a good book. I would create one bottle of hope each day, and I would string them in such a way that they would encase my existence, filling me with the reserves of hope that I need for every tomorrow.

As I find myself tasting these sweet, sweet realizations, just as a candy as a child, I love to be happy and act child-like. I love to examine the world around me as if it were new. I love to laugh at things that are silly and see things for the way they are, in such a way that I’ve never seen before. Or, at least, in a way I’ve never perceived before.

As this rugged world passes me by, I just continue to fly around as I grow my wings. Not fairy’s wings, but the wings of a bird; colored like a phoenix with scarlet, orange and yellow. With designs that I cannot describe because they entrance my eyes, I soar to the skies and back, loving my new freedom.

But I’ve spoken of this before. I’ve done it now, it seems like a chore. I love to fly, but as I’ve spoken so much about flight, perhaps I should find another thing to capture my light.

Crystal candies and a rainbow of flavors. I love the look of candy shops; I feel like a kid again. As I’ve dreamed of once having my own candy shop, I look around with much eagerness. I don’t intend to buy anything, as I have no money; but if I did, I would buy one of every piece I could.

And now as I write these words, the sweetness of a new reality fills my body, bringing it to life in a way I never knew. I am tame, but I am wild. I don’t have a favorite color because life is not monochrome. I love the way that life can come in so many shades, in so many styles and frames. And I love the way that my own eyes can perceive things in a way I never thought possible.

Things that look like sketches that I’ve rendered before, and others that look like gingerbread doors. I welcome myself to this new perception of reality, because it tames me, all while setting me free.

And free I will be.


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