Happiness

Because I was born to fly I cannot deny these things within my eyes that I see in the night. I can’t deny these fights that I’ve fought and these treasures I’ve sought. I can’t deny these things that have angered me, nor can I deny these things that I have allowed to cause me anguish. Still, as the sun rises and the moon sets, I find myself without regrets because I have let it go. I have allowed the snow to come down and wash it all away.

I am now clean.

The sun gleams up in the sky like the brightest light in the universe, casting shadows on everything that tries to harm me and illuminating the greatest things that have ever come to be. Is it possible that everything is okay, or is it just me? Could it be?

I never thought things would be okay when I started this journey as tears fled my eyes at night. I denied their existence and I cursed their reign over me. I hated them with a passion and because of them and the people that I allowed to touch me heart while not having my best interest in their own, I suffered seven years of anger and hatred. Never will I again suffer such a miserable seven years in my life, because I have changed. I have been reborn. I have found myself to be worn but I refuse to give up and I refuse to give in. I find that seven years of happiness is much better than the things that I could have continued to hold onto in my anger. This happiness is better than any revenge I ever could have sought for those who broke my heart, mind and spirit.

This happiness precedes me, for it was always to be. I never knew though how it could effect me. I never knew the antidote that happiness was, along with the ability to let go of those things that haunted me in my dreams. I underestimated the hope that was to come when I finally let go of those lonely nights where I wished that I could cry out at the top of my lungs for someone to hear me and to help me.

Now, I help myself. Now, I am not helpless. I am a warrior, and I am filled with light and strength. I am filled with everything I never thought truly existed and in the way I never really believed in romance, I now know it to be true. These things that I’ve seen cannot be denied, and as I find them everywhere I had never bothered to look, I find a smile on my face. How long has it been there? I don’t care. At that matters is that it’s there.

Now as I walk into the sunset, the darkness doesn’t scare me. It doesn’t have hold over me, and it never will again. It will never hurt me again and that’s because I refuse to let it. You are only susceptible to darkness if you allow it to invade your soul, your mind, and worse – your hopes and fears.

I will be okay, because, now, my peace and happiness is here.

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