Different

I find myself wanting to write different things, but I often worry that it won’t be well-received. But last time I worried about that, the post I wrote got the best reception of everything I wrote that day. So, here I will do it again.

Listen to Evanescence, reminding me of my angsty teen years. Paramore and homemade bookmarks. Brownies and chocolate pudding. I definitely have a sweet tooth.

These are things that make me undeniably happy. These are things I’ve been into lately, things that I find myself drawn to, and realize that they are things that bring me peace.

Saddened that I can’t go to Taylor Swift’s Reputation world tour, but still hoping to meet her in the future. I feel as if I know her from another life. And my heart is broken because my other idol, Michael Jackson, is someone I’ll never meet because he no longer has his life. Still, I believe that someday, somehow, I’ll know him.

Okay, I’m going to tell you all a little secret: I’m planning on saving as much money as possible (and it’s a lot of money) and I want to buy what is now known as Sycamore Valley Ranch, but what used to be known as Neverland Ranch, home to the king of pop, rock and soul – Michael Jackson. For some reason, I find myself drawn to it, and in a way I can’t explain I feel like I know it from somehow. Like it’s somehow an old friend I could possibly reunite with.

Of course, I’m not rich by any means. But I do have aspirations to be financially independent, and in my journey to do so, I am going to do my best to obtain that property.

I’ve been afraid to tell anyone that because I’ve been so made fun of for my love of Michael and his music. I’ve been told he’s nothing but a plastic Barbie, and personally that makes me angry.

But I digress.

I am going to rename the ranch Inori, which is a Japanese word that means ‘Prayer’. Prayer has saved my life, and prayer is everything that keeps me going. Prayer is something that is so sacred to me, and I love everything Japanese. I’m trying to learn the language.

So, as I sit here at my computer, now with Bad running through my head, I feel relieved. Maybe I’ll get hate. But maybe I won’t care.

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