My Start With Writing

I worry often that my writing is not good enough. I know I’ve said this before, but I have a bad habit of repeating, something I wish I could get rid of. But it has been proven to me with this blog that my writing is good and can be powerful. It was an acquaintance of mine who got me writing – and then convinced me that everything I wrote was less than worthy of her time. It was trash compared to what they wrote.

I met this person at twelve years old and I knew them for years. Even though they got me into writing, they also convinced me that everything I did wasn’t good enough. Eventually, I saw how toxic this person was, but not before they shamelessly pushed me to the point of being suicidal. Since then, I have been in near-constant therapy and my wonderful mother went and spoke to this individual, telling them that they were no longer welcome in our home and that they were to never speak to me again.

I don’t entirely know why I felt pressed to tell this story, but I did. Lastly, I just want to say that you don’t have to listen to anyone who is cruel to you, because I’ve recently learned that a person’s cruelty is a reflection of themselves, not you, or what they might say about you.

Even when I speak of this person, I avoid using their name because as terrible as it seems, to me they don’t deserve to be referred to by their name. They nearly destroyed me, but I thankfully came out on the other side.

I will never understand cruelty. The motivation behind it, the way others think it’s right to act that way. I will never understand it, sans I hope that upon reading this that you can possibly shut a toxic person out of your life as well.

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