It is so paralyzing to lose someone, especially when you don’t see it coming. I haven’t lost a lot of people in my life due to stress, but I have lost many by betrayal. It hurts and leaves scars on an otherwise clear canvas, and it’s hard to paint when your canvas is filled with old cuts and torn up. So many of us would choose to just go out and buy a new canvas. But you can’t do that in life.
I have found myself battered and bruised, pushed away and somewhat exiled from my community (not too severely). I’m still coming to terms with things people have said to me, and I’m still coming to terms with ways I’ve coped. Not all ways of coping were helpful or healthy, but I’m happy I got through so many bad times in my life.
I’ve often wanted to just simply run away and never come back, but that would leave wounds on those I love the most. How can one heal from something if they can’t stop having nightmares about it? I think our minds play what we truly feel behind our eyes at night. There have been so many times of feeling like I’m living in a nightmare, so it’s no wonder I’ve had so many terrifying nightmares since I was a child.
Min the end, pain can destroy, especially if it comes from those you once trusted. But it doesn’t have to. It can also strengthen you. It can build you up stronger and better than ever before. What’s the difference between the two? Attitude. In what way can you be built up instead of broken down? I don’t know.
Its up to you to answer that question. But once you do, make sure it comes from the heart, not from your mind. Because with the mind comes some of the greatest destruction.