Just a Quick Post

So, things are going slightly better and slightly worse regarding my crushed foot. The foot itself is doing better, but since I’m healing, I’m burning so many calories that I’ve lost two pounds in two days. Of course, that could be a fluke, but I’m really not thinking very well and I’m incredibly weak. Because of my heart condition, I burn more calories in a day than most because my heart works so hard to keep me alive, and now I might be burning more, though that’s just a hypothesis. It’s all yet to be seen.

I can read my words that I just wrote and think they were written by a robot but that’s just because I really don’t feel good and my head is really foggy. But please don’t worry about me, I’m alright. I always am. *smiles*

I just wanted to write this quick post to say that my blog posts for the next few weeks or months are going to be irregular at best, and nonexistent at the worst. I’m lying down during the day and I’m trying to heal, so hopefully things will heal fast, but we never know.

Anyway, thank you to all of you who read my blog and like my posts here on WordPress. You all bring happy tears to my eyes and I hope that I can continue to write for you on a semi-regular basis, but for now, I need to take care of my foot and health.

I hope you all are having a wonderful day! (night, afternoon, evening….)

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Saruta Valentine

So, when I was twelve, I created a character. Her name was Saruta Valentine. Obviously, that is the name of my blog here. I decided a long time ago that with my music and writing that I would take that name to be my stage name. Saruta was and is everything I wished I was and everything I wanted to be. Beautiful, smart, strong, bold, etc. So, I thought that for today, I’d show you a little bit of my characters, and I’d write a small segment from her world. It’s probably not going to appear in any book about her (if I do end up finishing that novel I spoke about last post), but I just want to share her. She saved my life. I want her to save others’ as well.

 

There was nothing good about the outcome of it. Everything had gone wrong. How could it go so wrong? But then I have to remind myself that everything goes wrong in my life.

Dristan stands next to me, leaning against the wall of the medium-sized house, his arms folded and his soft eyes closed. His medium-length black hair falls into his face, swept to one side. “It’s not like we could have done anything different.” he reminds me, seemingly reading my thoughts. “People were killed. It’s that simple.”

Anger flares in my chest. I stalk over to his towering frame – much taller than my five-foot-seven – and ball up my fist, ready to punch him. “How dare you? Those people were killed because of me! Me! They were my responsibility. They had lives. They had families, and now you’re going to tell me that none of it matters?”

He shakes his head, exasperated. Finally, he opens his maroon-colored eyes. “No, I’m not telling you that it doesn’t matter. I’m telling you that you need to calm down. I’m just being realistic. There’s nothing more you can do.”

No, you’re being apathetic. I tell myself. I spin on my heels, not willing to give him any more of my words, and I walk out of the house and down the tattered streets. Everyone is cautious at the sight of me. The daughter of the man who is destroying the world; Lord Maurakuta. The renegade princess that ran from her home in Vampirva and now brings more death than she brings life.

When I ran away at eight years old, I only wanted to escape it all. I wanted to escape the killing and the threshold of violence. It seems like I was truly foolish to believe that I could ever do such a thing. It’s been so many years since that day. I’ve found my second family again, the family that I’m not related to but the people I see as family nonetheless. Drek, Dristan, Tryston, and Tia. They are my family, as well as other stragglers. We’re all outcasts, hated by the world and planet of Aria. Hated by the paradoxical nature that we’ve been forced to succumb to.

I stuff my hands in my jean pockets, walking down the streets, trying to ignore the whispers and stares. My red, orange, and yellow hair practically glow in the Suns’ light as if they were the very fire that killed families; my eyes the same color of their blood.

I sigh. But before I can do anything else, a strange blackened mist starts weaving along the ground. In tendrils of darkness, the Chaos is alive in the light of day. It whispers, and I can hear the voices of insanity that it brings with its presence. Soon enough, it rises from the ground and lunges at me. I dodge, throwing myself to the dirt and out of its way.

As I turn to sit up again, the Chaos begins to form a wall in front of me and around me. I notice in my peripheral vision that the people around me have either already fled or are currently fleeing.

Chaos, the most malevolent energy on the planet of Aria. With its whispers of insanity and its stinging touch, it can turn someone into a Chaogen with just a simple touch, infecting the person and soon turning them into something less than human. That is, if they don’t die from the pain first.

Examining the field around me, I realize that I’m surrounded. I pull my twin guns from the holsters that hug my lower back, and point them at the energy. The bullets may not do much, but the Chaos might retreat from their impact. Currently, it’s all I’ve got.

I sigh. Just another day….

 

Let me know what you think!

Chaos

Chaos is cold, and calculating. Abandoning its victims within chains of sorrow and ruin. A lot of us try to fight this, but it doesn’t need to be fought. What would we be without chaos? How would we know the good without the bad? How could we know the happiness without sorrow and disorder? Though it’s not that simple. Rarely is anything ever that simple.

What do I need to do to maintain order? What do we need to do to understand one another? It is so simple, yet so overdrawn with lines and solutions to problems that don’t exist when we try to get along with each other. It should be simple. We are all human beings. We all feel the same things, experience things in a similar way, and we can help each other understand why we fight. But first, in order to accept each other…

…we need to accept ourselves.

This Life Called ‘Freakshow’

Sometimes life isn’t as simple as just living it. Sometimes you have to do more than just that. Sometimes you have to wade through the water of your deepest fears, make your way through the storms of your greatest pain in order to end up where you want. Sometimes it’s not as simple as just being here, on this earth, and wanting what you want, and getting what you get. Sometimes you just need to handle things as they are.

That’s something I’ve discovered recently. I need to handle things as they are. I need to understand things as they are before I can have any hope of changing them; before I can ever make it to what I want to be, and who I want to be. It’s something that I think about a lot.

I call this life a Freakshow, because quite personally, that’s how I view it. It’s a Freakshow filled with monsters and circuses; things that go bump in the night. But I’m starting to sort through those things. But even if I sort through everything, put them all in their individual labels, and find a way to make them stay, it still won’t be anything other than a Freakshow. But do you know what the wonderful thing about a Freakshow is? You can be whatever you want. You can dress, act, and proceed like anything you want. You can be something in a fantasy, a fairy in a field full of flowers. Or, you could be something more sinister.

I find my Freakshow to consist of fears, doubts, and worries. But I’m sure everybody’s does. Of course, although we are all different, we also very similar. And though it may seem weird, but being similar is what sets us apart. It’s what helps us be the individuals that we are. We don’t notice things that are all the same. We do notice things with slight differences.

So, what does all of this mean? Well…I suppose I’m still figuring that out myself.