If you ask just about anyone what they believe about love, they would probably tell you that there’s nothing better than being loved.
I believe there is nothing better than being the one showering another person with the love I have for them. Perhaps it’s just an individual thing, but I have never felt more joy than when I’m going out of my way to be there for someone, to show them with actions that I love them beyond anything in the world.
Because actions, to me, speak a million times louder than any words ever could. And the love I enjoy giving? Nothing elaborate. Telling that person that I love them, catching them slightly off-guard with a list of things about them that I couldn’t live without, doing small things little getting them things when they can’t do it themselves, be it handing them a water bottle when they are sick or paying for their favorite food when they are well.
Love is not a complicated thing to me. I suppose it is for a lot of people, but if I’m brutally honest? It’s only complicated when we are trying to fit our own desires into a relationship alongside the things we will or even won’t do for that other person. Because in my experience, love is always about sacrificing for that other person; never is it about receiving what we ourselves want.
Someone I deeply respect and admire told me a number of years ago that in order to be ready to commit to the person you love in marriage or another form of permanency, you have to be selfless to put them before yourself. My interpretation of this is to mean that when we put someone before ourselves, they will do the same for us, and thus begins the bond of real and true trust.
When I’m with the person I love the most (haven’t found him yet!), I want to make sure that I instill a sense of trust in our bond, and within him. I want to instill the knowledge and relief that he can rely on me for anything, no matter whether he seriously messed up and doesn’t want to hurt me, or if he needs to talk about something sacred to him that he’s never told anyone. I will never laugh at him. Name calling is not something I know how to do, and quite frankly, I’d rather spend ten years kissing and loving him than the same amount of energy holding a grudge for ten minutes.
Because love is not blind. Love is not self-serving. Love is the way you discover someone, another human being on an intimate level. And in addition to discovering them, love is about discovering yourself, because you will never truly know who you are or what you have in you until you hand over everything to that other person.
That is the essence of life. And that is the definition of love.