Write your truth.
I pray a lot. I feel like, in the world – especially here in the United States – it is nearly forbidden to speak about God or anything of the like. Of course we aren’t hurt physically by speaking of Him, but we are yelled at, made fun of, and told that it’s absolutely inappropriate, among other things. But I pray more than three times a day, because it is my solace. It is everything to me. I have turned my face towards Him and now my depression and anxiety aren’t so incredibly difficult.
I always wondered what it would be like to reach the goals that I’ve set for myself. I still wonder, because I haven’t reached them yet. I still wonder what it would be like to get out of a tour bus at a gas station and look up at the stars in the night sky. I still wonder what it would be like to even live on a tour bus – a dream come true for me, because I love to travel, and I don’t care where I sleep, so long as I have a warm blanket.
I want so badly to be a singer. I want so badly to be an entertainer. And I’m working towards it. I’m working towards writing my own music and breaking into that field with all my might. I’m also doing it with writing, but perhaps not as strongly.
I found that as I wrote on here, I wasn’t writing my truth. I wasn’t necessarily writing what I wanted to write, or what I felt like writing. I thought I was burnt out, but really I just didn’t feel connected to what I wrote. And to write my truth…that’s the answer I received in a prayer when I asked what I needed to do concerning this blog. Write my truth.
So, I suppose this is my truth: I’m coming towards my dreams, and I’m securing their place in my life. But I need to make sure that I secure my own well-being in addition to that. I need to make sure that I’m making what I love a priority, and I need to make sure that I make myself a priority. I’m one of those people that often allows themselves to get lost in the traffic of trying to take care of everyone else. I find myself to be endlessly taking care of everyone around me, and when I collapse in my bed, exhausted, I don’t even know what to do with myself. I become so overwhelmed, but don’t feel justified taking a break and doing something for myself. I.E. doing what I need to in order to keep myself healthy and happy. And right now, that’s music.
Of course, I am going to continue to write on here, but for some reason, I feel as though music is what is really calling me right now. More than anything else I’ve ever felt. I don’t know why, but I’ve never been one to ignore a gut feeling. Still, I will write here every single day, and I will write my truth.
Because the truth is where it all began.