Burned Bridges

Sometimes the people closest to you burn bridges, and there’s no reason why. There’s no point in burning the bridge that leads toward the person who has given you the most.

I have seen someone I love tormented and manipulated and thrown down by someone they love, but now that relationship is over (and no, it was not romantic).

I truly don’t understand the need to make a cruel statement through obscene actions and harsh words, and I really don’t understand cruelty and I hope I never will.

For those that have burned their bridges with you, do yourself a favor and don’t rebuild that bridge. For me it is only under extremely specific and special circumstances that I will allow someone to regain my trust. Genuinely, we need to make a real effort to try to understand each other, and go out of our way to be kind. I hope that by truly loving from the heart that I can change the lives of many. So can you.

Love others, treat them with the respect they don’t give you, not as a reflection of their person but of yours. But most importantly: don’t rebuild the bridges they burn. Not only have they stopped you from coming near them by burning them, but they have done you a favor as well – they have with which to hold onto to come back and ever hurt you again. That is what I call and consider a tender mercy.

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Bullies

I have experienced a lot in my life and have definitely learned a lot within the last year. I’ve learned a lot about love, about how to love and about what to do when situations go awry. I am only twenty-three years old, but I’d like to think I’ve got some of this figured out.

I remember making a big fuss here on this blog almost a year ago about how I was bullied on The Swift Life, or TSL for short. But now as I look back, I see how I should have handled the situation. Though of course, at the time I was young and could not have understood what I do now.

People have told me that bullies are nothing but cowards, and that cyber-bullies are nothing but cowards hiding behind a computer screen. I have never really believed that. It has taken me a while to articulate, but here is what I believe:

Have you ever said something in your life that you regret? Have you ever lashed out in hurt? Most likely. We all have. Does that make you a bully? No.

I don’t believe that bullies are cowards sitting behind computer screens, or the jock in the high school locker room. I believe that bullies are living, breathing human beings who are truly suffering just as much as we are, and though we may not see it through damaged pride and hurt feelings, as well as shame, everyone is only human. Some of us turn our pain inwards while some of us lash out. We all feel the exact same things, more or less. The rest is attributed to ignorance or lack of education.

I’ve never believed that bullies are terrible people, because we have all been something of a bully at some point in our lifetime. I think – or rather, know – that if we make an effort to react with love and understanding, not only will it confuse the bully…but it might just show them their worth.

Everyone is human, and everyone shows pain in different ways. Does that mean we should ostracize them? No. We should educate them in a simple and sufficient manner.

If we do so, this world might just be a better place yet.

Irreplaceable

It’s amazing how such a small action from someone that you don’t even speak to anymore can hurt so much. These smallest little details that can reach under our skin and act like table salt against a wound. These small encounters are what makes life so hard when we are young.

Society tells us that we must be liked, loved, appreciated, admired and more by everyone around us. If not, we are worthless in society’s eyes.

I’ve never much liked society and its views, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve happily rejected it. If it weren’t for certain circumstances, I would happily live in the wilderness. Why? Because it is so much simpler.

If I had a small cabin hundreds of miles away from any form of modernized civilization, I think I would have an easier time finding my happiness. Coming from someone who has experienced mostly bullying and pain in my life, it would be a great joy to remain within my own solitude.

Since I was a child I have dreamed of having my own ranch of sorts. I have dreamed of being self sufficient through all of my needs. Food, water, shelter, clothing, education, etc. I have also dreamed of living on my own island…but perhaps that wouldn’t be the greatest idea at the moment as I struggle with my physical health and rely on modern medicine.

I digress. My apologies.

If society were a more welcoming and peaceful place, perhaps I wouldn’t be so keen to avoid it. We are taught from infancy that the smallest smile, eye roll, or even just the way someone looks at us completely determines our worth, inside and out. I have struggled with self worth all my life. I’m getting better at it. I hope.

But in this little cluttered post, I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I’ll say it just for you: it doesn’t matter what others think of you, say to you, or say about you. You are worth it. Let me repeat that.

You are worth it. And if they can’t see that, they don’t deserve the irreplaceable company, smile, and personality that you bring everywhere with you. And as far as I’m concerned….it’s their loss. And a great loss of theirs indeed, because of we were all to be a little more open-minded towards each other maybe we could see how irreplaceable every soul truly is, realizing that our own is just as special.

Light

My bare feet grace the ground with their presence; soon being filled with the essence of truth and happiness. For I walk towards the light that lifts me, that of which brings my anxiety and depression away from me. And in these steady days, I will find peace in many different ways.

As I search for ways to help others and to bring happiness to myself, I find the book of my life upon a shelf. Upon the shelf of everything I ever needed; these words I say now which were created.

Bring forth the greatest happiness you can find, for I dance with joy and unwind. Filled with flower dust and the nectar of life, there’s nothing that should bring forth strife.

And in this broken soul, I find myself mended once more. My words flowing, flowing towards the shore.

You

There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for you; these memories you provide me with are true. They’re everything I ever could have wished for, all along this rocky shore.

Soon we’ll be apart, but like destiny we’ll be together again. Perhaps meeting you was the best part. Part of something that may never happen again.

You are what brings me solace, wisdom, peace. Your voice everything I need to hear in my struggles. Everything that takes the strain away from my poor health.

And in this deep blue, there is nothing but you. Thank you for being true, because I love you.

In This Home

In this home, I am safe. In this home, I have room to show my face. In this home that loves me for me, there is nothing that I cannot be.

In this home that tells me the truth, there’s not a thing that seems out of reach. In this home my family applauds, so there’s no need for any facade.

In this home I can just be me, everything that I ever wanted and was meant to be. With a mother who cannot be compared to a brother who loves me more than life itself, I am definitely blessed within the family realm.

And in these small due times, I will find nature’s designs. The ones that soon become mine, lining up without resistance. And soon I’ll see the fruits of my labor in my own existence, for I already am. In the night, I find myself in the gentle wind.

For that is what my home – a true home – is.

Difference

As I cherish these things that I have, I feel for others who don’t. I wish there was a way that I could give to them, but I can’t. Because of these circumstances I found myself bound by happenstance.

I don’t want this blog to be entirely dedicated to me, I want to speak of others as well. I wish to be a humanitarian in every sense, because of the way these people fell. And because of the ache in my heart I feel when I see these things, their truths I will tell.

I know this may seem random, but I have thought of this for years. Though I stopped myself because of my own fear. The fear of being judged, but now that disappears. Because these people cry real tears.

Hopefully charity in the making, I certainly am not faking the sorrow I feel when I see another soul suffer. It’s something I wish to never see upon another.

So as I speak these things on my mind and rhyme these rhymes, I will hopefully come to the time where with these words, I can make a difference. Truly.

For Now

In love with their little eyes, I see no lies. In various colors of green and orange and blue, I am captured by the hue. They may be nothing other than felines to others, but to me, they are a lifeline.

I love to watch them in their own little personalities. I love to see their own originality. I have met so many in my life, yet no two are the same. I love picking out their name.

And now, I will dedicate myself to saving the lives of those that are lost and hurt because there was nothing more rewarding than watching my cat Ace become filled with love and happiness after all of the pain he endured for five years on the street.

I yearn to create a sanctuary for them so that I may save the ones that need to be saved, though I don’t have the ability to do so right now. But eventually I will do everything I can to fulfill that vow.

And as they may seem simple or even annoying, they have saved my life in more ways than one. There’s no way I could truly thank them for loving me unconditionally, so I will do what I can to give them a home and the same love in return.

For now, it’s all I can do.

Tomorrows

Holy love. To cherish it is to bring these words nigh. To understand it is to know these things from high above the tree tops, into the heavens above.

For you are not who you believe to be. You are so much more. Filled with a value you have never seen before. Bring with you this hollow shore, for it shall surely bring you more than ever before.

Loving you is something simple, something true. Something only your real friends are will to do. In the evenings of doubt and the nights of sadness, remember that if you were to give up it only cause madness.

For I often ask myself why. Why did this person die? Even if not in the flesh, but within the mind. Something that isn’t easily understood among our kind.

So reach out your hand and allow yourself to see. These things that I say shall surely be. In these doubts and sorrows, there will always be another tomorrow.

As my mother always told me before, “that’s what tomorrows are for”.

Thank You

Images of worries and long nights. I find my anxiety going to new heights. Possibly things will be fine.

I’m filled with joy to know that my writing is loved. Just as classic stories, I would like mine to be beloved. Thank you for your generosity, it helps fuel my curiosity. My desire to speak my mind and be who I am; to harness my skill with my own brand.

Thank you to my readers, for you are so special to me. Eternally in my heart you will be.

This is not a note goodbye as it sounds like. I realize it seems like I’m ending this, but I’m not. I’m simply thanking you all for reading. And as I move forward with this chapter in my life, I have learned much and I cherish this feeling.