Irreplaceable

It’s amazing how such a small action from someone that you don’t even speak to anymore can hurt so much. These smallest little details that can reach under our skin and act like table salt against a wound. These small encounters are what makes life so hard when we are young.

Society tells us that we must be liked, loved, appreciated, admired and more by everyone around us. If not, we are worthless in society’s eyes.

I’ve never much liked society and its views, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve happily rejected it. If it weren’t for certain circumstances, I would happily live in the wilderness. Why? Because it is so much simpler.

If I had a small cabin hundreds of miles away from any form of modernized civilization, I think I would have an easier time finding my happiness. Coming from someone who has experienced mostly bullying and pain in my life, it would be a great joy to remain within my own solitude.

Since I was a child I have dreamed of having my own ranch of sorts. I have dreamed of being self sufficient through all of my needs. Food, water, shelter, clothing, education, etc. I have also dreamed of living on my own island…but perhaps that wouldn’t be the greatest idea at the moment as I struggle with my physical health and rely on modern medicine.

I digress. My apologies.

If society were a more welcoming and peaceful place, perhaps I wouldn’t be so keen to avoid it. We are taught from infancy that the smallest smile, eye roll, or even just the way someone looks at us completely determines our worth, inside and out. I have struggled with self worth all my life. I’m getting better at it. I hope.

But in this little cluttered post, I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I’ll say it just for you: it doesn’t matter what others think of you, say to you, or say about you. You are worth it. Let me repeat that.

You are worth it. And if they can’t see that, they don’t deserve the irreplaceable company, smile, and personality that you bring everywhere with you. And as far as I’m concerned….it’s their loss. And a great loss of theirs indeed, because of we were all to be a little more open-minded towards each other maybe we could see how irreplaceable every soul truly is, realizing that our own is just as special.

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Depart

To depart from this world in a little wooden ship; to me I’ve been stripped of the lies attached at the hip. Never too late to get out, but I find myself with frozen lips.

It floats in the air, among dust and cloud. These inklings of imagination around it yearn loud. As these entities search to become, something so much more than none.

Maybe I haven’t thought it through, maybe I’ve allowed my emotions to take over. Or maybe I stand exactly where I should be. Towering over these simple truths, maybe I won’t allow them any use.

No, perhaps I’ve been harsh, my patience now sparse. I have forgiven, and now that I have, I may finally feel the peace I once considered forbidden.

Cherish Peace

Feeling insane, I hope I won’t forget the name of those who gave me wings. Feeling weak and in pain, I’m not going to allow myself to fall from these promises, even though love compromises.

I refuse to find myself in a place where I no longer care. I am a loyal person to a fault, my loyalty is like a vault. The secrets and feelings of friends and family alike will never leave its metal enclosure within my heart. I hope that you will also take part.

I am short of sanity and manically trying to find the answer to the questions I pose. It is little more than simple prose.

I love to read and soon I’ll need to find more material to fuel my ever-growing mind. I find that these actions aren’t entirely mine but part of a sign of something bigger, something that is simply benign.

And in these closing prayers I’ll taste the autumn air, as if silk brushes my lungs, darkness far-flung away from me and my peace.

I will cherish this while it’s here; while this peace and tranquility is near.

I Love You

Wandering within the moment, all while falling from grace. What I wouldn’t do to see your face. Something so divine within this once-empty shell of mine; something I will never forget within this lifetime.

So take my hand, we won’t go far. Or perhaps we’ll go beyond the stars. Through the Milky Way, through the network of galaxies to the center of the universe design just for us.

Don’t let go my love, my desire for you is like a snow-white dove, clear and innocent, within the realms of grace.

So be my ace, my special everything. Be my love that makes those heavens sing.

What is freedom? I wouldn’t know. I’d suppose it’s the place where you’d go to meet me, beyond that tree of life in the garden where there is no fight.

If we let go of weapons, will it yield peace? Will we truly be able to sit and eat with families, with friends up to no end, not knowing the battle of others around us. Honey, we won’t know what surrounds us. But that’s okay, because as long as I’m with you, one thing is true: I love you.